Nice blob lamp, eh? I nicked it from Judy's Page

Bouillabaisse....

is foreign, and nearly as difficult to pronounce as it is to spell. You don't want to go eating that sort of stuff. Well, okay, you probably do, but I don't happen to have a recipe for it in my head, and I can't be bothered going and looking one up.

But.....

... what I do have indelibly burned into my frontal lobes is a recipe for Moules Mariniers:

1 kg live mussels
1 ounce of butter
1 small onion, or a couple of shallots, chopped,
1 particularly mean clove of garlic, chopped
lots of chopped parsley
sea salt
a nice bottle of white wine
1 cat

Scrub the mussels and leave them in fresh water for an hour or so. Discard any that are open, broken, funny smelling or fans of Dumpy's Rusty Nuts.

Saute the onion/shallots in half the butter, add the chopped garlic and fry a few seconds more, then tip all the mussels into the pan and listen to their horrible death screams as they succumb to the boiling....er... sorry.. Tip in half the wine, lots of parsley, the rest of the butter and cook on a high heat for about five or six minutes, or until all the mussels are dead, dead, I tell you! Throw in some sea salt - hey, what do you care about your blood pressure, yeah? Remove the mussels and reduced the liquid a bit more.

Serve with lots of French bread (You forgot to get French bread? Throw a six and start again..)

Drink the rest of the wine.

Open another bottle of wine and drink that too

Think of more cruel and unnatural fates to visit upon innocent bivalves.

pass out.

..... oh yeah, the cat.... It'll lick the plates clean for you....

And yet another great fish recipe from our Reader*

One cat-food sized can of tun, in water unless you like the greasy stuff
One boiled egg, peeled and chopped
a dash of garlic
One chopped scallion/green onion
heaping spoon of sweet pickle relish
large dollop of mayo

Stir in a bowl, slap between two pieces of wheat bread, and wolf down. Goes good with milk, beer, not so well with wine I'm afraid though. Not too good with coke either. These are killer to get in your sack lunch, as they get soggy by noon and you can throw them at your schoolmates if they hassle you.

swim back home............e-mail me with your fish recipes

*Thanks to Christie for advice on what to do with tuna