indowbreaker:A cheese to strike fear into the heart of any luckless citizen. foolish enough to find themselves in the same space/time continuum.

But it was not always so. Once, the innocent Jarlsberg took its place proudly in the pantheon of Cheeses, until the dreadful day when Gregori Mudshark and the long-lost P. Alvaros Javier Mudshark unhappily misplaced an entire weekend ("easily enough done", confirmed Florentina, "especially where Gregori is concerned..").

To this day, no-one knows exactly where the blasted thing went. (when pressed, Gregori will optimistically announce that he expects to find it down the back of the sofa any day now), but when the dust settled, and our Heroes found themselves once more in residence on planet Earth, their thoughts turned, as do any sensible Mudshark's on such occasions to Cheese Luckily, a vast cornucopia of edible delights soon hove into view, and very soon the Golden Goodies were within their grasp! (insert happy-smiley-face-thingy if you desire. Personally, I cannot abide the things.)

Two thoughts soon manifested themselves with the intrepid adventurers' brains: Firstly, the problem of financial remuneration for their lactic delights. With magnificent logic, our Mudshark friends concluded that if the cheese was eaten before payment became due, this would make life considerably easier for all concerned, and so the deed was done.

But, as the gastronomically-concientious will confirm, Jarlsberg does not go without a fight, and one is left with the small problem of THE RIND.

What to do? Having already left the Great Retail Temple of Delights, our friends feared discovery in possession of the evidence of their not-wholly legitimate bounty, and so they resolved to dispose of it. This should have been all too easy for creatures who had already caused an entire 48 hours to vanish without trace

"Throw it," cried Gregori, with sudden inspiration, ".. through that-there-open-window!!"

Javier obligingly did so, but the open window had other ideas, and at the very moment the elegantly-arcing cheese-rind described it's final flight through the welcoming portals, The window magically altered its status from "That-there-open-window" to a diametrically opposite configuration.

There was a resounding "Crash"

Dear Friends, do not try any of this at home....



Now go back to the Kitchen, you're tea's getting cold