This months's cheese is

OLD AMSTERDAM

"Indeed," (muses our Reader), "..it's about time we had a Dutch cheese on COTM. Why, the Dutch are world renowned for their delicious cheeses such as Edam and Gouda and...er... Edam...... Now, exactly which of these types is "Old Amsterdam?"

Good Question!

Look at it this way. Of course there must have been a time when this particular delicacy was identifiable as one of The Netherland's famous Coagulated-Milk-Products repertoire. but I think it only fair to warn you, dear Reader, that when they say OLD Amsterdam, the time scale is pretty damn geological!!

To be succinct, cheese does not get to be this boggin' overnight, my friends!

Ah, so now you want to know where to get some, yes? A logical choice might be Amsterdam. However, it has to be said that, although there are.. how shall we put it... substances of equal pungency and delirium-inducement on sale in Amsterdam, sadly, these were by and large not the cheeses, and certainly nothing of the seismic nature of OA presented itself to me on my visit there.
No, in order to purchase this delicacy, you will have to venture even further into the wild unknown.

Walkers of Inverurie

"Say what??" ( I hear the silken tongues of my vast and engimatic readership cry, as one)

Ah, cast your minds back, humble readers, to those halcyon, Pre-Tesco days, to the days when shops which sold beans in paper bags were known as "Grocers" and not "Ambrosia Organic Health Food Emporium"

Messrs Walkers of Inverurie is that Grocer! In this Aladdin's cave, fully ten feet by twelve, you can find such exotica as Miso paste, Asafoetida, Juniper Berries (sometimes!), Vine Leaves, Mealie Jimmies (don't ask!), assorted mismatched crockery, "OMO" washing powder dating back to the last war, cat food, beans-in-paper-bags, and.... of course..... Old Amsterdam Cheese!! (they also sell Gjetost too!)

Sadly for this great mainstay of Village Life circa 1940, Mr Walker himself passed away not long since, and Mrs Walker, tiring of the Vine Leaves and Mealie Jimmies, has resolved to sell the place. But where will a buyer be found who will preserve the character of this shop, not to mention my supply of Old Amsterdam????

Enter Sylvia Mudshark! Yes, in a pre-emptive strike to acquire a social status of equal importance to that of her mother, the Matriarch of Kemnay, Sylvia is "...considering the financial viability..." of the place. Whether this venture will go ahead or not is still uncertain at this time, but one thing is sure...

....The OMO will have to go!!

(small afterthough - I wonder if I'll get a discount on my cheese...)

Anyone who wasn't singing along can go and stand in the corner back at Mudshark Towers